IN MY NEXT LIFE

In addition to overusing the word "whatever," I often find myself promising that things will be perfect "in my next life." I've been known to say, "In my next life, I will be tall." Maybe I should be more specific and say "In my next life, I will be 5'8" tall. I wouldn't want to become seven feet tall in my next life.


Sometimes when I become frustrated with my hair, I say, "In my next life, I will have beautiful hair." My hair is one of the great disappointments of this life, so I swear my gene pool will produce better results in another life because it can't get much worse than current circumstances.

When I can't remember the name of a movie I saw thirty years ago, I get annoyed and say, "In my next life, I will be a genius." On second thought, maybe that wouldn't be such a good idea. Sometimes genius and insanity are twins.

The law of unintended consequences always rears its ugly head and makes me suspect that wishing for things to be different could result in a whole host of undesired circumstances. "Better the devil you know" comes to mind.

When feeling powerless, it is comforting to be able to promise myself that it could all be different and much better "In my next life."

According to all accounts, John Lennon once said, "Life is what happens while we are making other plans." Perhaps that speaks to many people; I can certainly relate. I wouldn't want to make some things perfect "in my next life" if that meant that all the things I appreciate about this life were also changed. I wouldn't want to give up the wonderful things I enjoy about this life so I should just stop planning "my next life" and appreciate the one I have.