Making Memories

Considering that many people have grandchildren, and grandparents are more than a little proud of their own grandchildren, it seems superfluous to indulge in a little grandmotherly pride about my own two little sweethearts. I like to take pictures and videos of their antics when they visit Nana and Papa. I don't need a picture to remind me of the sight or feeling when my two-year-old grandson has to leave to go home after a day of playing with the grandparents. He is told fifteen minutes early that they have to leave soon, but when the time comes, he sits down on a rug near the front door, puts his little face into his hands and sobs. What a moment! The little tyke is so adorable. Naturally, he gets tons of hugs and promises that he can come to visit Nana and Papa again soon. He has no concept of time, but when he arrives at the front door to begin a visit, the happy grin on his face is worth its weight in gold. My grandchildren lead a charmed life and could ask no more of their environment than two doting parents and doting grandparents, but they love to visit grandma's house to play with toys different from the ones at their house. I kept many of their father's toys which they play with now. I don't know who treasures those visits more, the grandchildren, or the grandparents. It is such a special relationship between grandparents and their grandchildren.

I have fond memories of my grandson playing with a tiny wooden train given to his father by his grandma in 1976. It lives on top of the TV in the family room so when my grandson visits, he knows where to find it. The little cars are connected by hooks and one came apart from the others as he played with it. I told him to get Papa to fix it for him so they went to my office to get the computer repair tools and they fixed it with the pliers. They put the tools back into the zippered case, closed it, and returned it to the shelf where it stays. Later that day, another car released, so he took the train back to my office, took down the tool case and pretended to repair it. It was more than his tiny fingers could manage, but he knows when he gets frustrated with something that Papa can fix it. 

 

Both my grandson and my five-year-old granddaughter like to play "office." When they visit, both can be found in different rooms in front of computers with a telephone(old portables they play with), their pencils, writing pads, and their cups of water. They take notes, answer the phone and play with the computer. Then they sip the water, take a deep breath and give a big sigh as though they just engineered a difficult merger. My son sometimes works from home and has a toddler helper setting up shop near his desk with his own tools and the two-year-old "works" too. When they get him on the payroll too, the family is in business. My grandson will imitate anything he sees an adult doing.  My five-year-old granddaughter likes to play with my computer when she visits. She prefers to use the headphones when she plays games on nickjr.com. We sit with them at the computers and help them when they need it. They learn like little sponges and we talk about what they are doing on the sites. Letters, numbers and keyboarding come easily to toddlers with computers.

I sometimes wonder why I don't remember all of the adorable things that I'm sure my son did when he was a toddler but I was too busy to fully appreciate every time his three-year-old eyes would light up and he would throw out his arms while running to tackle my knees and exclaim "Mommie". I do remember those greetings of the days after preschool. Sometimes I pull out my photo albums to look at his youth and remember that he was just as adorable as his children. I wish I had spent more time writing about his moments to treasure. It is so easy to take the day-to-day activities with our children for granted and I am sure all of the bloggers who chronicle the early years of their children will thank themselves later when they have such detailed memories of their babies and toddlers.  

I can state without doubt that this is one of the best moments life has to offer. When my grandson has worn out from playing, I treasure these moments when I have the opportunity to sway and soothe him on my shoulder while he sleeps. I managed to stretch this session over 30 minutes while he snoozed. My arms were almost frozen in place, but I didn't  want to end it until he woke up.

 

Requiem

As our world changes faster and faster, one of the things I will miss will be inventive bookmarks.
I'm afraid that as e-readers become more and more predominate, the printed word will become the electronic word, which will make bookmarks obsolete along with antique record album covers, Kodachrome film, book covers, slide rules, typewriters, and other relics of the past.

I pause to wonder what the museums of the future will display as the great writings of the past  as they now display copies of the original Declaration of Independence, The Book of Kells, The Constitution, or The Magna Carta. Maybe all museums will be online and we won't be able to see the historical past except electronically. The Ancient Library of Alexandria has been replaced by a replica with exhibits showing reproductions of papyrus scrolls.

I'm greatly impressed by the mission of the Library of Congress to preserve the many antiquities of our country and the many generations of media that have come and gone. 

I've always loved interesting bookmarks with beautiful pictures and fabulous quotes. When I was a librarian, even the high school students enjoyed getting a free bookmark appropriate to their interests. The elementary school students competed for bookmarks as rewards for outstanding contributions in the library whether it was for reading a lot of books or sitting quietly during story time.

The possibilities for projects to produce original bookmarks is endless and promotion of bookstores, specific books, or other causes lend themselves very well to bookmark production. However, no one will need them if we stop printing paper books. I hope that is not too soon because there is something nostalgic about holding a print book in my hands. Availability of e-books for new releases isn't 100%, so we still have time before everything can be downloaded to an electronic reader. Even so, for a small fee, one can join huge metropolitan public libraries online and download mass numbers of e-books to a Nook for free. It is getting very tempting.

As I borrow more and more books from public libraries, I like to use bookmarks to avoid creasing pages and damaging the book for future patrons, nor would I write corrections in margins of a public property book. With no more space to store more books in my home, I share books with others at the public library and remind myself not to fold pages, eat over books or drop drinks on them. I don't like to damage my own books and I don't like to deface public property library books. I try to be considerate of other patrons. I haven't yet joined the legions of e-reader fans, but it's on the horizon for all of us. I'm waiting a little longer to jump on that speeding train.

Apathy

"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." I always thought Rhett made more sense than Scarlett, the shallow, selfish little twit. I can't resist digression. My reaction to some recent blogs I have read and many comments at the end of articles I read on news sites such as CNN or ABC News has to be described as apathetic. I marvel that people have such passionate involvement in things that they can work up a sweat just posting a reactionary rant about some issue or whatever they react to very strongly.

It wouldn't make my day to complain about what some starlet chose to wear to an award ceremony--who cares? I don't lose any sleep over who is currently in rehab--why should I care? Some civil discourse might be important to the advancement of civilization but when we spend so much time arguing about who has the right answer, nothing gets done, so maybe that is the ultimate goal. I wouldn't have made a good lawyer because I'm not on a quest for my next good argument.

My reaction to "stuff" is "What do you care?" Why do people get so passionate about all the things they think are wrong and need to be changed yesterday? Having learned a long time ago that disappointment is the natural product of futile expectations, I can't get too worked up about stuff. I don't really care if people self-destruct in the multitude of ways they can create. It's unfortunate, but I can't control anyone but myself.

I can't imagine getting worked up about something to the extent that I would be willing to harm someone, intentionally insult someone, or be willing to die for some lofty-sounding cause. It does anger me that people would overstep their bounds and harm others. There is never a good reason for it beyond self-preservation.

I firmly believe in the cliches of my childhood: "Your rights end where my nose begins," or "Live and let live," or "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." I grew up in a world where you understood that you could do what you wanted, within the law, as long as it included leaving other people to do the same. Unfortunately, therein lies great conflict when those needs overlap.

I firmly believe we don't have the right to make choices for other people. Where did humans ever get the notion that we have the right to impose our own values on other humans? I like to quiz myself with the ultimate question--how important is this in the big picture? I prefer to blow off the stress and save myself the aggravation of worrying about things I can't change.

The Last Dress

As I consider our New Year's Eve occasion with friends, wardrobe considerations do not include a dress. That particular evening in my neck of the woods often includes cold, either snowy or rainy weather which, in my mind, excludes a dress. I still love the little black dress with black stockings and heels because it gives me a long, slim look. Long dresses suit me more than mid-calf or knee length dresses--both make me look short and fat. Dresses at mid-thigh look better on me than mid-calf. Dark, solid color dresses look better than colors or patterns on my weird shape.

I cannot recall the last time I wore a dress. I think it was in 2007 for a formal occasion. It would take a formal wedding at this time to get me into a dress. I haven't bought a dress in such a long time, I don't even know my size. The last wedding I attended was outdoors and I wore a pantsuit. I like dark, solid pattern pantsuits with some frilly neck treatment or eye-popping jewelry. I really prefer feminine pantsuits to dresses because my extra ten pounds and my short stature find it to be more friendly. The jackets in pantsuits hide a multitude of sins which I favor at my age. If I choose to wear high heels, pants make me look even taller, but I don't choose to wear high heels too often. My feet thank me at the end of the day when I wear two-inch heels rather than five-inch heels.

I don't mind my legs showing when wearing a skirt, because my gene pool doesn't include cellulite or varicose veins. I just find slacks are so much more comfortable even though I don't sit in any unladylike contortions. Ask any guy if he would like to wear skirts. I'm still trying to get the charm of kilts other than the obvious titillation of "going commando". I never have to think twice about "upskirting" when I climb stairs in my slacks, which is a plus to my sensibilities. The TSA won't have to waste their time searching me due to trying to wear a skirt on an airplane. I can't understand why anyone would want to wear a skirt on a plane--you never know when you are going to land in the Hudson or have to slide down an escape chute.

The basic black slacks can flatter any top, shiny or plain. I have a huge wardrobe of black dressy slacks so I prefer switching tops or buying only tops rather than paying for a dress that quickly becomes old news. Basic black slacks are even more versatile than the little black dress. I like sleeves to keep my arms warm in the winter and little black dresses look better sleeveless and low-cut. IMHO ladies over the age of fifty clearly look their age in sleeveless, low-cut dresses. The skin ages and looks like crepe--end of story. Age-appropriate is a lovely euphemism.
 

Ambivalence

"My home is my castle." We like to think we have an impenetrable fortress,  even today, when we close our doors on the world to recharge our human batteries to face another day. Throughout history, mankind has built structures designed to keep out their enemies and to shelter their families.

Should people in modern neighborhoods be considered alert, observant, or overly alarmed when a stranger takes a picture of your house and the inside through the windows; or when a stranger asks for a cigarette while standing in your driveway; or when a stranger tapes seven of the same advertisements on the front door of your house on different days? Are we vigilant, or nosy, or paranoid when we see such things and report them?

Every neighborhood is a combination of various personalities and, like families, we don't get to choose the other people who are part of this circle. Every neighborhood has incidents of mischief, misdemeanors and sometimes even felonies. No neighborhood is perfect but when we buy a house, we are full of hope that there are good neighbors and no bad actors living nearby.

I have to think that some of the trend toward 55 Plus neighborhoods is an effort to shut out crime and eliminate some of the mischief that occurs in neighborhoods where unsupervised children get out of hand and steal or damage property. We like to live near people like ourselves who can relate to us.

I like the thought that neighbors look out for each other and pay attention to what's happening in their neighborhood. After seeing stories of someone like Jaycee Dugard in the news and wondering how this can happen and no neighbors would notice or report it, I think the guy who pulled off that crime for years and years wouldn't have had a chance in my neighborhood.

After some local vandalism and theft, we now have a neighborhood "passive" watch and an e-mail board where neighbors can keep each other informed of suspicious activity in the neighborhood. I am alert to the fine line between trying to be vigilant and observant but leery of jumping off the deep end and imagining harmful intentions behind every unusual occurrence. It is systematic of the world in which we live where terrorism is always front and center--"If you see something, say something." I grew up in a small community where everyone knew everyone and if someone did something bad, everyone else knew about it before the culprit got home. It made you think twice about what you were doing and how it would be perceived.

I would like to think we should look for the best in everyone, but making excuses is also known as enabling. Unfortunately, it is the reality we face in today's world that thieves, drug users, and sociopaths walk among us and look just like us. Who are they? When do we have to be on guard?  Always.

NOTE: Mont Saint Michel in the picture above isn't really a home or a castle, even though it has housed many people since its construction in the sixth century. It was mainly a monastery-sometime prison, and now is a historical monument. It is one of the most beautiful structures I have ever seen and one of my treasured memories. I use any excuse to look at my pictures of it.

Turkey Day

The holidays are just around the corner and it's time to start thinking about orchestrating my Thanksgiving dinner. I have a set menu and the family prefers the same foods each year. I always use a recipe for turkey from a cookbook I have owned over forty years. 

A Thanksgiving Turkey is very special and best when moist. This technique guarantees that it will be cooked quickly, thoroughly, and it doesn't dry out with this method. It doesn't require a lot of tending or frequent basting. It is the most rewarding recipe I've ever used for the cooking of a Thanksgiving Turkey.

TURKEY RECIPE *

Thanksgiving Turkey Cooked in Foil

Weight---------------Cooking Time


7 - 9 lb.---------------------2 ¼ - 2 ½ hr.

10 – 13 lb.-----------------2 ¾ - 3 hr.

14 – 17 lb.-----------------3 – 3 ¼ hr.

18 – 21 lb.-----------------3 ¼ - 3 ½ hr.

22 – 24 lb.-----------------3 ½ - 3 ¾ hr.

Wash thawed turkey (I use turkey breast), dry, sprinkle with salt and Bell’s Poultry Seasoning to individual taste. Add small pats of butter or Smart Balance if desired. Cooking times can be the same for  stuffed birds. Place turkey in the center of large, long strip of heavy duty aluminum foil on a shallow oven baking pan. Put foil covers on ends of wings or drumsticks if it is a whole bird. Bring ends of foil to top and roll together to form a loose tent, not touching the top of the bird. Also seal the ends. Place on a rack in the center of the oven, not too near the bottom to avoid overcooking the bottom.


Bake in preheated 450˚ oven according to the chart above. Remove for the last 30 minutes, open the foil (careful of the steam!). If additional browning is needed, return to the oven. Juices can be basted over the turkey first to retain moisture. Remove juices either before or after this step to make gravy. Sometimes the turkey is cooked at this point and doesn’t need additional time in the oven. I prefer to leave it in the oven to the end of the cooking time, remove it, open foil, and let it cool for 30 minutes before slicing.


Servings vary with turkey size – normally allow ¼ lb. per serving.

*Marsh, Dorothy B., ed. The New Good Housekeeping Cookbook. New York: Harcourt, Brace; World, Inc., 1963.